tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-42996154858392477362024-03-15T04:23:51.509+11:00The Little QuinceQuincy Quincettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05958720030354418138noreply@blogger.comBlogger166125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299615485839247736.post-65888895389542173402014-03-30T12:25:00.002+11:002014-03-30T12:25:24.733+11:00I'm BAAAAAAaaaack!After a very long hiatus, I'm back and blogging again!<br />
<br />
I'm now living in CHINA. It's a different world, and I have the dream job. Still teaching, but in a completely different environment.<br />
<br />
Stay tuned for more commentary!Quincy Quincettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05958720030354418138noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299615485839247736.post-90474326522821860192012-05-23T06:30:00.000+10:002012-05-23T06:30:01.471+10:00A childish fancy; nothing more.<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: purple;">Moaning and whining ahead. Read at your own peril. </span></span></div><br />
Most people will, in their youth, have dreamed of meeting someone who loves them as they are. No exceptions, no conditions. Just loves you for you, and is lovable in turn. Someone who will love all your quirks and not judge you for any of the dumb things you say.<br />
<br />
By the time we grow up, most of us realise that this person exists in the form of a pet, as pets don't care what you say to them as long as you don't frighten them unnecessarily and give them love and attention and safety. There just is no way that this fantasy of unconditional acceptance in exchange for love and friendship can be true where people are involved because the simple fact is that we are all different, raised with different ideas and expectations and there will always be a clash somewhere.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, having ADHD, I feel as though I "clash" a lot more than most people. I feel like I always have to be watching what I say and do, and my guilt switch kicks in horribly as soon as I say something which upsets another person. Then my world comes crashing down and my self-esteem just melts away. I just don't seem to fit the world very well.<br />
<br />
I don't enjoy doing this. A common angsty teenage theme is that of not being able to be yourself around people and having to put up a facade, but that's actually what a lot of my days involve: near-constant self-censoring; non-stop analysys of what I'm about to say and whether it's apropriate; constant analysys of the mood of others and whether the next thing that comes to mind would go well in this crowd; etc etc ad nauseum.<br />
<br />
I may be angsting, but I really don't ever feel like I can truly let myself go and just <i>be</i>. Even when it seems I have just let loose, I'm <i>still</i> monitoring and watching and assessing for the slightest change in feedback in case I should stop. I usually miss the slight ones anyway, but the point is that I'm always walking on eggshells; always worrying about being judged and losing friendships that were difficult to find in the first place.<br />
<br />
It is <i>extremely</i> tiring. It makes for a frustrated, neurotic Quince who <a href="http://thelittlequince.blogspot.com/2010/11/im-constantly-worrying-that-everyone.html">panics at the first perceived change in behaviour from someone. </a><br />
<br />
There are times when I want to throw the towel in on society because it just feels too hard. It feels too hard to have to change so many things about myself, and there are a lot of them. I'm constantly reminded of this. Unfortunately, even if I were to just be accepted fully and without condition, I would still be paranoid because I'm just used to having to be. I wouldn't know how to enjoy it anyway.<br />
<br />
<br />
So if I'm around you and going a bit silly, saying things without thinking, but not actually doing any harm, please be flattered. It means I trust you and am letting my guard down.<br />
<br />
This thoroughly depressing post was brought to you by a mood swing that is the result of my not being on my medication. I miss my medication. Being "on holiday" from it is a necessary evil, but one which screws with my moods and that I wish I could do without.Quincy Quincettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05958720030354418138noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299615485839247736.post-58374976230717641172011-12-05T06:18:00.002+11:002011-12-05T06:18:31.372+11:00Uuuuugh- I had a big weekend as a chaser to a big couple of months<br />
- I passed my physics course<br />
- I'm now sick again<br />
<br />
Uuuuugh.Quincy Quincettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05958720030354418138noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299615485839247736.post-19029709363095255872011-11-28T06:30:00.001+11:002011-11-28T06:30:00.510+11:00Christmas dreamingMy creative side is going a bit crazy at the moment. I decided that, given I couldn't find a nice one anywhere, I would make a topper for our Christmas tree. So I went into Riot to get some ideas and got a lot more than I thought I would!<br />
<br />
I know how I want the topper to be constructed, so that's all planned out. Unfortunately, I walked past the shelves with all the felt on them. You see, I've made things from felt before and I really enjoyed doing it. So now I'm sitting there in the shop, looking at all those amazing colours and imagining all the stuff I could make from it!<br />
<br />
I'm planning all sorts of Christmas decorations, and hopefully there will be photos! As soon as reports are done. I'm really not so keen on the report-writing thing.Quincy Quincettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05958720030354418138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299615485839247736.post-73388293387085678162011-11-27T14:32:00.000+11:002011-11-27T14:32:00.005+11:00AWOL againNo posts this week. Reports are due on Friday and I'm far too tired and busy and stressed.<br />
<br />
See you all next week!Quincy Quincettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05958720030354418138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299615485839247736.post-59233907368366053512011-11-25T06:30:00.001+11:002011-11-25T06:30:01.933+11:00Holiday dreaming4 weeks left until the Summer holidays. Can't wait! I have so many plans.<br />
<br />
There is the aforementioned gardening, the cycling (for fun rather than for getting to and from work!), a potential weekend away, Christmas with the family, NYE with friends, my birthday...<br />
<br />
So much to do and enjoy! =D It will totally rock.<br />
<br />
*bounces*Quincy Quincettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05958720030354418138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299615485839247736.post-90134461309529919052011-11-23T06:30:00.001+11:002011-11-23T06:30:00.679+11:00Couchy goodnessOur couch is old. I inherited it from my former housemate who wasn't able to give it away to anyone else, and we just happened to need a couch.<br />
<br />
This couch was so old and decrepit that you couldn't sit on it without at least two extra cushions, and even then you would get pins and needles in your legs if you sat in it for too long.<br />
<br />
It is an <i>old</i> couch.<br />
<br />
So, last week, I decided I'd had enough. I wasn't going to sit on this thing which was probably ruining my back and goodness knows which other aspects of my health along with it and I wasn't going to put up with it any more.<br />
<br />
Now, we can't afford a new couch, so we took the old, worn and deformed cushions to a place which cuts custom foam and asked them to please replace it for us. So they did.<br />
<br />
This couch is now AMAZING. We didn't get the most expensive, bouncy stuff (I think it's called endura-foam or something ridiculous like that and is guaranteed to outlast your couch); we went for the firm, medium-grade foam in the seat cushions and the cheap stuff in the back-rest cushions.<br />
<br />
I can't begin to describe the difference. It is a beautiful thing to sit on. It still looks like utter crap without the throw over it, but it is so unbelievably comfortable!<br />
<br />
I am utterly thrilled by this, and at the same time utterly freaked out at the gradual realisation of just how domesticated I've become!Quincy Quincettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05958720030354418138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299615485839247736.post-7048095641669893822011-11-21T06:30:00.000+11:002011-11-21T06:30:00.796+11:00GardeningI think gardening is going to be my new hobby this Summer. I actually have a garden that I can see and that I can use for entertaining, so I have reason to do something with it!<br />
<br />
My parents were never particularly creative with their lawn space. They had a verandah which they used for drinking coffee on in Summer, and they had some grass that got mowed and a few plants around the edges. That was about it. Even barbecueing happened on the verandah.<br />
<br />
I have no verandah, but I have fenced-off lawn which I absoluely intend to use!<br />
<br />
I don't think the previous tenants really looked after it very well. It was mown when we moved in, but a lot of the soil has bare patches that mainly consist of clay (I've added gypsum to it but it may not have been enough) and a depressingly high proportion of the greenery is made up of weeds (those flat, dandylion things that just seem to take over).<br />
<br />
So I've been weeding (combination of chemical and manual) and I've sown some lawn seed which I hope will take. I've also made little shelves on legs that I've hammered into the ground, against one of the walls, with the intent of putting lanterns there for evening entertainment.<br />
<br />
I want to have a nice garden that I can sit in and have guests in, and I'm looking forward to working on it more :-)Quincy Quincettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05958720030354418138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299615485839247736.post-86772118264038246752011-11-18T06:30:00.001+11:002011-11-18T06:30:02.308+11:00Looking forward to ChristmasSo for the first time in a number of years, I'm really looking forward to it. You see, working in retail kind of ruined it for me, and there were a number of factors at play:<br />
<br />
<b>1) Playing carols incessantly for over a month.</b> This is a sure-fire way to annoy just about anyone that goes into your store. If not initially, then definitely by the time Christmas actually rolls around. If it doesn't drive your customers mad, it <i>will</i> drive your staff mad. There is <i>no</i> need to play carols for any more than the last two (<i>maybe</i> three, if you're really into the whole spirit thing) weeks leading up to it.<br />
<br />
<b>2) Playing the crap remix carols CD. On repeat.</b> This one needs no elaboration.<br />
<br />
<b>3) Beginning to sell decorations in July.</b> Not all stores do this, but I've seen it. In fact, selling decorations before November is utterly stupid and annoying and should not happen. It just makes the season less special.<br />
<br />
<b>4) Irate shoppers.</b> If you are a Christmas shopper who has left all your present-buying until the last minute, then for heaven's sake <i>don't take it out on the retail staff!</i> They are already over-worked and stressed out. No, they cannot order more stock in for tomorrow because you missed out on the last toy due to your own tardiness, <i>especially</i> if tomorrow is already Christmas Eve. This is not the only toy sale that happens throughout the year, so for goodness' sake do some of your Christmas shopping earlier on in the year!<br />
<b> </b><br />
<b> </b>This is now the third year running that I have not had to work retail at Christmas. I have, as always, bought my presents early. I'm going to be avoiding shopps that are playing carols for as long as possible. I'll be spending Christmas day with my family.<br />
<br />
I am, at last, looking forward to enjoying Christmas again!Quincy Quincettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05958720030354418138noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299615485839247736.post-10182595532936522632011-11-16T06:30:00.001+11:002011-11-16T06:30:00.255+11:00We need more options.In yet another fun rant about education in Victoria, I'd like to vent my spleen about how difficult it is to get rid of "problem children" in schools.<br />
<br />
Politically incorrect though it may be, the simple fact is that some kids really are a problem. There are some students who are rude, nasty, and a bad influence on their peers. I have students who are generalliy nice and reasonably well-behaved. While their friend, the Problem Child, is away. As soon as that child turns up, the kid you were <i>finally</i> making some progress with forgets all that good behaviour and all those rewards and falls under this influence. You are back to square zero.<br />
<br />
These Problem Children are the ones with no respect for authority, and not just that of the teacher. I've seen them lash out at co-ordinators and nothing short of calling the parents in is enough to make them behave, because they know that there isn't much we can do.<br />
<br />
We can give lunch-time detentions, but they don't really care because once that's over, it's over. Back to normal.<br />
<br />
<br />
We can give after-school detentions, but parents have to be given 24hrs notice. This is done by giving the student a letter to take home. I've found more of these letters ripped up and in the bin than I can count. I'm also quite used to the phenomenon of the student mysteriously being ill on the day that their detention is scheduled for. So this is not a credible threat, and not one which works well past about year 7.<br />
<br />
We can suspend them, but the grounds have to be extreme. Students are well aware of how difficult it is. They can swear at teachers, be as rude as they like, say things that would get them questioned by police if they did it out on the street, and yet they get away with it in schools. So that threat doesn't work past about year 8.<br />
<br />
Expelling students is nearly impossible. They cannot be expelled unless they can go to another school, and I've had a student say "What are you going to do! You can't expell me! No other school will take me!", and he was right.<br />
<br />
We can't ask students to leave, because they can't leave unless they are at least 16 and have a trade or apprenticeship to go into.<br />
<br />
You can't get them moved into a different class because classes are so damned full that there is no room for movement. So threatening to remove them from their friends doesn't work either. <br />
<br />
The simple fact is that, if you have students who are not only poorly behaved but also savvy, you're pretty much stuffed and so are the students who could do so much better if they weren't being disrupted by these Problem Children.<br />
<br />
We need more options. We need more consequences. We need to be able to actually send them off for intensive behavioural therapy, and have it be on-going.<br />
<br />
The bottom line is that we need more support, because when you've had that kid shout at you, at other teachers, at school leaders, and then still have them show up in your class the next day, you start to lose hope. It's crushing to think that they can get away with abusing people in that way, and yet they do.<br />
<br />
This needs to change.Quincy Quincettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05958720030354418138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299615485839247736.post-87432335451302441932011-11-14T06:30:00.001+11:002011-11-14T06:30:00.851+11:00No more kids, please.In this next enstallment of what appears to be a series of rants about the education system here in Victoria, I'm going to get angry about the day before the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melbourne_Cup">Melbourne Cup</a>.<br />
<br />
We spend Cup Eve (first Monday of every November) babysitting because less than half the students show up. Those that haven't shown up are usually away on family holidays in anticipation of Cup Eve, but some students have parents who insist that they come to school.<br />
<br />
You see, the parents send them to school because it's a school day. And it's a school day because parents send their kids to school. Or something.<br />
<br />
But the bottom line is that, on this day every year, we have had to keep our massively reduced classes occupied from 9am until 3:30pm. We can't continue lessons as normal because our grouping systems are disrupted and we'd have to re-do anything we taught that day in the next lesson anyway. We can't book science pracs, plan tests, or anything of the sort. We can't even invent new groupings specifically <i>for</i> that day because we have no idea which students will be there and which won't.<br />
<br />
So instead of being able to do something useful, like marking or planning or report-writing, we're sitting there keeping kids well-behaved and on task, whether that task is a worksheet or a video or a game. Instead of doing Professional Development (a requirement of teacher registration) or catching up on things we need to get done, we are looking after students who don't want to be there any more than we want them to be there.<br />
<br />
I have, thankfully, had it confirmed by my local MP that this will be changing next year and going back to school councils deciding when the pupil-free days will be. What I'm left wondering is why, given that teachers were against having three of the four in term 1 to begin with, did they not just listen to us in the first place?<br />
<br />
Still, at least it's been fixed.Quincy Quincettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05958720030354418138noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299615485839247736.post-60146415738568289862011-11-11T06:30:00.000+11:002011-11-11T06:30:01.852+11:00Gorrilla in the making.Dear Society,<br />
<br />
Please realise that there is nothing "gross" or "disgusting" about body hair on women. I would very much like to stop worrying that I'll get judged by people (or even have to explain why it's <i>not</i> gross) because my legs don't look like a nine-year-olds and I happen to have a dark patch in each armpit.<br />
<br />
Most sincerely,<br />
<br />
Me.Quincy Quincettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05958720030354418138noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299615485839247736.post-11681253185918245782011-11-09T06:30:00.001+11:002011-11-09T06:30:00.120+11:00Reinventing the Wheel"Reinvenging the wheel" is a very common phrase in teaching, and it's one that has now most definitely come up again in my school.<br />
<br />
It appears that textbooks are being phased out, which is of concern for a number of reasons. The key two are that:<br />
1) We have no guarantee that the new laptop system (which is being implemented next year; all students in some year levels will have their own laptop) will actually work, so removing textbooks removes a valuable backup plan<br />
2) Textbooks are an incredibly useful tool for educating students and for keeping teachers from having to invent curriculum <i>that is already there</i>.<br />
<br />
The key reason that was given for this change is this perceived notion of teachers exclusively teaching from the textbook, telling the students to read a section and then answer the questions.<br />
<br />
Bollocks. Sheer, utter, bollocks. For one thing, the Science textbook we use is utter, usless crap. Half of it is badly explained and the other half is factually incorrect. It mostly ignores physics and what physics is in it is utterly dreadful because all the authors were primarily biology teachers.<br />
<br />
So the book is only a vague guide on what we will be covering in the topic. It helps keep us on track and give us a visual guide as to where in the topic we are, the questions in it are often very useful for topic revision, and often they are excellent for getting students to actually <i>read</i> and <i>interpret</i> information. For them to learn to <i>find</i> useful bits of info and <i>synthesise</i>, rather than just regurgitating facts (the number of times I've had them complain about the answer not being directly in the text is staggering; I had to point out that hey do actually need to think about what they're reading and writing).<br />
<br />
So yes, we use the book and we often get the students to answer the questions from it so it is great because we don't have to invent the questions ourselves. But it is also useful as far as practicals go (we only need to point the lab techs to the page in the book rather than having to write up all the materials ourselves).<br />
<br />
Now, this is a useful kick in the pants because it is forcing the faculty to look at its resources and how to pool them, rather than having scattered unit plans and things all over the school and the staff network drive but it in no way makes up for the loss of this valuable resource.<br />
<br />
Furthermore, I am insulted by the view of the leadership that we are doing nothing <i>but</i> textbook work. I don't know wich teachers they've been observing, but it sure as hell wasn't anyone I've worked with. This will now mean a <i>lot</i> of extra work over the next few months and a <i>lot</i> of stress, especially if there are technological failures of the kind we've had over the past two years.<br />
<br />
I'm sorry guys, but you need a backup plan whenever you implement something new and untested, like this laptops-for-everyone scheme. I see no evidence of a backup plan for when hundreds of students try to all log on to a network at the same time - something that hasn't actually been tested yet.<br />
<br />
Ultranet Training Day, anyone?Quincy Quincettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05958720030354418138noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299615485839247736.post-60227541761088808902011-11-07T06:30:00.000+11:002011-11-07T06:30:02.880+11:00In Soviet Russia...Here's how it's supposed to go:<br />
<br />
- Teacher assigns task<br />
- Student completes task<br />
- Student gets rewarded<br />
<br />
OR<br />
<br />
- Teacher assigns task<br />
- Student doesn't complete task<br />
- Student suffers consequences<br />
<br />
Somewhere along the line, a few of my students got the idea that this is <i>not </i>how it works. You see, they somehow think that if <i>I</i> let them do whatever they like, they will <i>reward me</i> by doing work. Yes, that's right. Them working is now a <i>reward</i> for the teacher.<br />
<br />
After a student asked me if they could go sit in a different part of the learning space and was denied this request, he actually said "Fine then, I won't do any work!" and it's not the first time something like this has happened with students in this particular group.<br />
<br />
How on earth did they get this idea? How many teachers would have had a cajoling attitude which gave students the impression that they can get away with this? How on earth are their parents bringing them up?<br />
<br />
I find this quite alarming.Quincy Quincettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05958720030354418138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299615485839247736.post-68341901870111216582011-11-03T11:38:00.001+11:002011-11-03T21:53:00.739+11:00Life is CRAZYSo I've had a lot to do and very little time for blog-worthy stuff.<br />
<br />
Since my last post, I have<br />
<br />
- Found a new place<br />
- Moved into it<br />
- Had a heart procedure (very minor - it was keyhole and I was back on the bike in a week)<br />
<br />
I am now preparing for my physics exam, which is on Monday (PANIC!!!) so the business doesn't really go away.<br />
<br />
I'm going to try to start posting regularly again ASAP. I've got a post scheduled for Monday, so stay tuned!Quincy Quincettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05958720030354418138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299615485839247736.post-52074842328827588172011-09-15T18:14:00.000+10:002011-09-15T18:14:46.839+10:00You want to put it WHERE!?<style type="text/css">
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">I'm now onto the final of my three dealbrakers for taking a house: Location.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">The key piece of property advice that one always hears is: “Location, location, location!” and it's a very important thing. You pay more for a good location, and that goes beyond just suburb (although the benefits of living in a good suburbs are significant).</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Even when you've narrowed it down to the suburb you want, you still need to look at some of the finer points:</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Is it on a main road? This can have several advantages, though you generally don't want a place that is. You have to consider your individual needs, and some roads are preferable to others. For instance, Oolon and I recently decided against a place on a main road, not just because it's on that road but also because of <i>where</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> on that road it is. The house wasn't near any official crossings and was also in an area with a median strip that included a waist-high rail, so I couldn't cross it illegally either.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-style: normal;">Given that I do most of my travel by bike and that I need to cross the road in order to go in the right direction for my work, this rules out any property where it's particularly difficult to do that (at least until I start getting desperate to find a place). </span> </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-style: normal;">You also need to consider things like ground elevation and drainage (avoiding flooding), whether the area is prone to bushfires (and whether it is worth the risk in your opinion), proximity to public transport and shops, etc etc etc. My rule here is that it be within cycling distance (about 10min by bike) so that I don't feel compelled to take a car. It also needs to be possible for both me and Oolon to cycle to our respective workplaces.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-style: normal;">So yes, we are being fussy. You might even think us snobby! But there are some aspects of lifestyle which I'm not happy to give up as long as I can afford them financially.</span></div>Quincy Quincettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05958720030354418138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299615485839247736.post-14825433413015099742011-09-14T06:30:00.002+10:002011-09-14T06:30:00.934+10:00No bitchin' in the kitchen!Following on from my previous post about looking for a place to rent, I'm now on to discussing Dealbreaker #2: <b>The Kitchen.</b><br />
<br />
Now, a kitchen doesn't have to take up half the house. It doesn't have to be completely new. But it <i>does</i> need to have a certain amount of bench space. It does need to look like it isn't falling apart. It <i>really</i> needs to not look grimey and like it's just waiting to sprout mould.<br />
<br />
I'm talking about the difference between this:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKZ7B0Zs3wMC8vGkkG0GY2XFilOlEMTOzxj_Fe4eLCzq1WWGE5j7dR2_RI1RtMql0ytWppZ5jH39AxQHlp2rDufSJdtvdofkzHaajCHJR_S0lPcbk-m7gpPbAKiqMl9KWLBujPq4hF-No/s1600/Kitchen02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKZ7B0Zs3wMC8vGkkG0GY2XFilOlEMTOzxj_Fe4eLCzq1WWGE5j7dR2_RI1RtMql0ytWppZ5jH39AxQHlp2rDufSJdtvdofkzHaajCHJR_S0lPcbk-m7gpPbAKiqMl9KWLBujPq4hF-No/s320/Kitchen02.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
And this:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg37TC7jbl85vQiIQjfiooYYGjjZFP_JXR6iSkulsHbYLxMWwBsmoXwnfehIhKnf55Z2kO3OcrdK7F7Qz-CjfY1i4L4dTH_JgXPM3erJ_WeNolHtj8NhBW4xRpBzfTLJNU0hf43nn79BAA/s1600/kitchen03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg37TC7jbl85vQiIQjfiooYYGjjZFP_JXR6iSkulsHbYLxMWwBsmoXwnfehIhKnf55Z2kO3OcrdK7F7Qz-CjfY1i4L4dTH_JgXPM3erJ_WeNolHtj8NhBW4xRpBzfTLJNU0hf43nn79BAA/s320/kitchen03.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
For the sake of argument, lets ignore the fact that kitchen 1 has people actively using it. In that image, though, you can see that the oven isn't great. You can also see that the wall next to the oven/stove is damaged. The added shelf for the microwave just looks extremely... Cheap. Can't think of a better word for it. The second kitchen also has more bench space and a visible pantry. The surfaces are nicer. It doesn't look <i>grubby</i>.<br />
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Now, that first kitchen is not the worst I've seen. I've seen kitches with less than half the bench space and mould visible in the corners of the place. You could still <i>work</i> in a kitchen like that. But these two properties are charging about the same amount in rent.<br />
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I think the preference is pretty obvious.Quincy Quincettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05958720030354418138noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299615485839247736.post-61909355927359907522011-09-11T06:30:00.001+10:002011-09-11T09:22:44.212+10:00You need a ruddy big shotgun.So, Oolon and I are on the hunt! For a place of our own! It's all very exciting and the ADHD-part of me that obsesses over things has latched on to one specific property that we viewed. The part of me that knows this is ADHD-related is doing its best to reassure the ADHD part that it's a lovely place while at the same time reminding it that we may not be offered it and to not be too upset if we don't get it.<br />
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So, I've now got something to blog about. I have, of course, thought about getting my own place before this week and have done some considering over what I would and wouldn't want in a property. I've narrowed down three or four deal breakers, and I'll talk about the first one today.<br />
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<b>A landlord who cares about the property.</b><br />
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<b> </b>Don't get me wrong: I don't want someone who is obsessive about the place and wants everything exactly perfect and as they'd envisioned it from the start and can't handle a place looking lived-in. I wouldn't last a week with a land-lord like that!<br />
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But I do want someone who clearly gives a damn about something that they own. For instance, there's the first house that Oolon and I had a look at. It was spaceous, had wooden floors. A bit old, but potentially nice, despite the small kitchen (a topic which I will get to in a later post). What killed the deal for us wast the peeling ceiling. Well, not the peeling itself, but rather the <i>response</i> to the peeling ceiling. We asked the agent who opened the place about it, who reassured us that the leak which caused the problem had been fixed. She also told us that she didn't believe the landlord had any plans to fix the cosmetic damage, but that we could say on our application that we would only take the property "on condition that the ceiling was repaired". And that was just the most obvious problem with the place.<br />
<br />
<br />
So we decided not to apply for the place. I want a house that I can be proud to live in and where it's easy to care about its upkeep. It's a lot harder to care a bout a place that is grimy and not nice to begin with, and I wouldn't want to live in a house that I don't feel good about at the outset.<br />
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Of course, there is the factor of previous tennants (some of whom are still occupying the place while it's being inspected), but I can look past that.<br />
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So, Landlords! Here's a tip: Show that you care about a place that <i>you</i> own, or you won't attract the sort of tennants who will care about <i>your</i> property.Quincy Quincettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05958720030354418138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299615485839247736.post-63257701747415463282011-09-06T08:36:00.000+10:002011-09-06T08:36:27.768+10:00Oops.So, this is a bit late. I was meant to post something yesterday.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, I am so exhausted from work and trying to learn physics at the same time that I'm just not feeling very bloggy.<br />
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I'll start posting again when I have something more interesting to say.Quincy Quincettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05958720030354418138noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299615485839247736.post-58498351841719113182011-08-08T06:30:00.003+10:002011-08-08T06:30:00.912+10:00Finally, pics of my bike! (and some notes on female anatomy and saddles)Ta-dah!!! Here she is!<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfWGd-wNLfTxRKW7uYVVvF_1ddiM9NUwOtFj9ryBwIb45iDJ2gZKhKk9NyVy_X15U6dMCifYIJn-pVcCzPlxIREgE57Td8g4SnbIuoQrO41vhfZs8tL3OFv9FuE0-iV3aS2EVzwIc2NAQ/s1600/DSCN0203.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfWGd-wNLfTxRKW7uYVVvF_1ddiM9NUwOtFj9ryBwIb45iDJ2gZKhKk9NyVy_X15U6dMCifYIJn-pVcCzPlxIREgE57Td8g4SnbIuoQrO41vhfZs8tL3OFv9FuE0-iV3aS2EVzwIc2NAQ/s400/DSCN0203.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That's my husband's bike in the background :-) </td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
You'll have to forgive the quality of the photos; I took them in a hurry at Melbourne Central station with a camera that I'm unfamiliar with (borrowing my husband's while I try to figure out where my little one got to), so they're not as good as I'd normally like to take. But, I got to play with a different camera so that's always a good thing!<br />
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As you can see, it has the basket with the <a href="http://thelittlequince.blogspot.com/">lining that I sewed</a> for it a few weeks ago. Here it is from a different angle:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHyA0yhJE6E-TBYV9jcbqAeKrkXDwjYgWrilMMSL-1A9APfGBm0RiAr9eH_KGydVgBIpw04UwG76xx0Ekexyw-eCbdaoLvbEMm4m3gSucWwg4W9FL6ufV_wR1FTwLIfXIvg_LXcWwUEe4/s1600/DSCN0202.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHyA0yhJE6E-TBYV9jcbqAeKrkXDwjYgWrilMMSL-1A9APfGBm0RiAr9eH_KGydVgBIpw04UwG76xx0Ekexyw-eCbdaoLvbEMm4m3gSucWwg4W9FL6ufV_wR1FTwLIfXIvg_LXcWwUEe4/s400/DSCN0202.JPG" width="400" /> </a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div>I also got a new seat for it about a week ago. I was finding that the seat which came with it was particularly uncomfortable when I leaned forward to go uphill. It basically came down to bunching of flesh in my groin. Not good. This seems to be caused by the fact that the original saddle rises slightly at the front:<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipv1zQXIjIcNlY-5TfD-ARMNVk0gHA8zsYNoI_BtZwC8jS2sdjjfIteen1K0JUyOOMvC1Ig9kceueTHFbCChzZ4Veaq6-qVEa0x6_PrZd-u9QOtSCHNvWlU9PApTDtygNH-cnicjI06Pg/s1600/DSCN0204.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipv1zQXIjIcNlY-5TfD-ARMNVk0gHA8zsYNoI_BtZwC8jS2sdjjfIteen1K0JUyOOMvC1Ig9kceueTHFbCChzZ4Veaq6-qVEa0x6_PrZd-u9QOtSCHNvWlU9PApTDtygNH-cnicjI06Pg/s400/DSCN0204.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My husband's seat: He has no problems with it (lucky person)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>So when we went to the shop to get our bikes serviced, I asked about their selection of women's saddles and which might best deal with the issue. They recommended a saddle and suggested I try it. OH MY GOODNESS that thing was comfortable! I bought it on the spot. Here is a pic, for comparison:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh013NrZ8M8SZm9xWQpWJPtWXt5C5Qzd1gW8vT71lijU5YSG6B86cKTeKmJZP0GBS6-VD7PlZA1X2VJwoQBT3z1dBhXSHiBkR_hvedKz8WiaQ3Crv4cjRO2j0Zh0XJe_6DHZOL24I2ocuQ/s1600/DSCN0207.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh013NrZ8M8SZm9xWQpWJPtWXt5C5Qzd1gW8vT71lijU5YSG6B86cKTeKmJZP0GBS6-VD7PlZA1X2VJwoQBT3z1dBhXSHiBkR_hvedKz8WiaQ3Crv4cjRO2j0Zh0XJe_6DHZOL24I2ocuQ/s400/DSCN0207.JPG" width="400" /> </a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div>The key differences are that this one is flatter, firmer, and has a "cut-out" in the centre of the seat, which you can't see from this angle. All in all, <i>much</i> more comfortable for a female body. There were, unfortuantely, a couple of trade-offs:<br />
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<b>1)</b> The tip of the seat isn't as tapered as the previous one, which will result in even greater wear on any pants that I have on while riding. This may be solved through thinner thighs (which I will hopefully get as I cycle more), but I may have to resign myself to cycling in cheaper, spare trousers until I find something even more suitable.<br />
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<b>2)</b> It's not as wide as my old saddle, which can theoretically be an issue given a woman's wider pelvis and the upright position of the bike. I haven't had any problems with it yet though (it's still a fair bit wider than a racing saddle), so I think it'll be fine.<br />
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I love my bike!<br />
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On a less fun note, it's time for me to go AWOL again. Full-time work plus a physics course plus a whole bunch of stuff I agreed to before I enrolled in said course is keeping me very busy and very tired, so I just can't guarantee I'll be able to blog regularly. I'll start blogging again weekly on September 5th, then see how I go until after exams.<br />
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Wish me luck!Quincy Quincettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05958720030354418138noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299615485839247736.post-9431489910670464582011-08-04T06:30:00.000+10:002011-08-04T06:30:00.635+10:00Phillip IslandPhillip Island is one of those places that you need to visit if you go to Victoria. It's where you'll find the <a href="http://www.penguins.org.au/">Penguin Parade</a>, for one thing! A bit further away from the penguin parade is a place called The Nobbies, or Seal Rock. I didn't see any seals, but here are a couple of pics I took with my awesome new camera:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_cyO1pbQKTERV-J3Z57f1_ilnp218uAkbINHcD0RUePn6wb5tnsCgvsAwXGs_Nbm9O-rZCqNaf7oPeWRBJoEP7mYvczPVpbKqdkYPrfUaxFoO6xIGfdBkVTpCni6qXbfw9E7K_YZXKiE/s1600/CRW_2218.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_cyO1pbQKTERV-J3Z57f1_ilnp218uAkbINHcD0RUePn6wb5tnsCgvsAwXGs_Nbm9O-rZCqNaf7oPeWRBJoEP7mYvczPVpbKqdkYPrfUaxFoO6xIGfdBkVTpCni6qXbfw9E7K_YZXKiE/s640/CRW_2218.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikhNRu3Wt8_1aWQW3EpeOQfk5yRDgerU82JlhGdFAAyywm792aT3wyob09WGRZ-nt4akQKpeRH8i6ik2VV6uJc3Y_Z9UlSWMNcsjGDoSlI63UpGFrFEQMllCBrI5DG2s4mRjgtWWKA7bU/s1600/CRW_2182.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikhNRu3Wt8_1aWQW3EpeOQfk5yRDgerU82JlhGdFAAyywm792aT3wyob09WGRZ-nt4akQKpeRH8i6ik2VV6uJc3Y_Z9UlSWMNcsjGDoSlI63UpGFrFEQMllCBrI5DG2s4mRjgtWWKA7bU/s640/CRW_2182.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzOXKuiTkkwutkLLVI80eXLmhkIN4Biq_DHh61jmHefPCmH-E_Sah3q1sFfuJ6G8Lck5O36jmwu-NBBsN70SoD-5Orhk6Xh8fVcoC9gt190_H5EleX1Foe_fGSIVML0seqMH-n1-jllpE/s1600/CRW_2224.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzOXKuiTkkwutkLLVI80eXLmhkIN4Biq_DHh61jmHefPCmH-E_Sah3q1sFfuJ6G8Lck5O36jmwu-NBBsN70SoD-5Orhk6Xh8fVcoC9gt190_H5EleX1Foe_fGSIVML0seqMH-n1-jllpE/s640/CRW_2224.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3Ng3WcsJLA6U7h6BY_riEt7FfXFA6oQT7uGM09tpmYt7LnFj9UmtUnEPBfUkQrvkfWsnJV0qnbQLdJ1XaI8aLauV64bl_pHAjmNkmCqL4JeX02ngNLd_iBGcSkPZmCPCarmS4NeySQr0/s1600/CRW_2272.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3Ng3WcsJLA6U7h6BY_riEt7FfXFA6oQT7uGM09tpmYt7LnFj9UmtUnEPBfUkQrvkfWsnJV0qnbQLdJ1XaI8aLauV64bl_pHAjmNkmCqL4JeX02ngNLd_iBGcSkPZmCPCarmS4NeySQr0/s640/CRW_2272.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>Quincy Quincettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05958720030354418138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299615485839247736.post-44490329557532621742011-08-01T06:30:00.012+10:002011-08-01T06:30:01.874+10:00Way to freak me out.I don't mind someone saying that they recognise me from a bike trail that we both cycle on. I have an unusual bike, so it's not all that surprising that someone would take notice.<br />
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It's when this happens, followed by a bitching session about dog owners, telling me how you've accidentally struck dogs, and then telling me that you <i>don't care any more</i> when I express sympathy for the animal...<br />
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THAT is freaky and the kind of thing which makes me avoid you for the rest of all eternity. <br />
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Also, I'm seeing the cardiologist on the 4th to discuss my tachycardia. Hopefully she'll be happy to perform the procedure that'll get rid of it for good. Wish me luck!!!Quincy Quincettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05958720030354418138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299615485839247736.post-72055145556766188522011-07-28T06:30:00.028+10:002011-07-28T06:30:02.471+10:00I am so awesome.Earlier this month I went to a sewing workshop organised by a university club that I've been a member of since, well... University. It was meant to be a cloak making workshop, but you could make anything you liked, really. So, I made a lining for my front basket!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5314/5896289751_ec49d18643.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5314/5896289751_ec49d18643.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
This is the view from above.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5199/5896288299_c9b4b86abe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5199/5896288299_c9b4b86abe.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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This is from the back. I used twho ribbons to attach it to the hooks that go over my handlebars. The drawstring is theaded through the lining which folds over the top. Because the basket is narrower on the bottom, this will help keep the lining in place all around.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6020/5896291111_aeaba3d0a1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6020/5896291111_aeaba3d0a1.jpg" width="239" /></a></div><br />
You can see here what I mean about it folding over. The drawstring is at the base of this flap. The shoe in the background isn't mine, by the way.<br />
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Of course, this being Winter, there's the slight issue of <i>rain</i>. I don't particularly want the contents of my basket getting soaked, nor do I want to risk it filling up with water. So, I decided that I need a lid, and I made one a few days later:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6059/5911275171_5284750ec5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6059/5911275171_5284750ec5.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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This is the view from the top. How pretty is that fabric! Got it on sale at Spotlight.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6057/5911837282_c82e62d8e7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6057/5911837282_c82e62d8e7.jpg" width="239" /></a></div><br />
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This is from the front, and those are my knees at the bottom of the picture. As you can see, the lid is made from fabric that is slightly wider than the top of the basket so it wraps around. I also used a drawstring to hold this one on:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6042/5911278967_5c31c8a853.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6042/5911278967_5c31c8a853.jpg" width="239" /></a></div><br />
So I now have two drawstrings at the back, and both the lid and the lining tie onto the hooks of the basket.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6016/5911835958_ceae6cb5cb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6016/5911835958_ceae6cb5cb.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
This is the view from the top, with the lid up. I used the same yellow fabric for the underside of the lid as I did for the bottom and outside of the lining, so it all matches nicely!<br />
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It's also waterproof! I did that by sewing a layer of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tarpaulin">tarp</a> between the blue and yellow fabrics.<br />
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I did this without a pattern; I just used a measuring tape and my own genius brain ;-) And I now have a much prettier basket! My next project will be to make a matching lining for the basket on the back of my bike. That one will be a little bit tricker because of the shape. And yes, I will put up pics of my bike with the basket at some point. Once I've taken them :-)Quincy Quincettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05958720030354418138noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299615485839247736.post-86365595592217057582011-07-25T06:30:00.004+10:002011-07-25T07:26:58.277+10:00What does "clipless" even mean??When I started cycling regularly, I decided I should probably learn more about bikes and how they work. One thing that came up a few times was comments about a "Debate" over "clipped vs clipless" pedals. With no explanation.<br />
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I sort of ignored it.<br />
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Being winter, I've been figuring out just how much stuff I really need for cycling around. All you Americans and Europeans will laugh at me, but 5]C is actually quite cold! So I've bought ear warmers and gloves and leg warmers and thermal underwear... All in the interests of cycling as comfortably as possible.<br />
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I've also noticed that my foot slips off the pedal when it's wet. So if I stepped onto a moist road or grass before cycling off, I'll be dealing with not having grip between the pedal and my shoe. It's not fun and I've nearly lost my balance because of it a few times.<br />
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Now, I really don't want the kind of shoes and pedals that go together where you have to clip yourself in and the shoes are all specialist and expensive. What I want are those strappy, stirrupy things that attach to pedals at the front and keep your toe from going too far forward, or slipping off.<br />
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Now, a google search for "Strappy stirrupy pedal things" doesn't yield a great deal... But I eventually found out that the strappy stirrupy things are, in fact, toe clips. The funky shoe/pedal combos are "cleats".<br />
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So there you go, dear readers! You have now learned some cycling terminology that I took great pains to find out for you. Enjoy your new fun intellectuality :-)<br />
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And also, I now have pedals with toe clips, so my foot won't keep sliding off the pedal every time the sole of my shoe gets wet. It'll make a nice change!Quincy Quincettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05958720030354418138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299615485839247736.post-31683989025159647812011-07-21T06:30:00.001+10:002011-07-21T06:30:00.532+10:00Things People Get Wrong (Part 2)<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">There are two behaviours from people that I can't handle: Shouting about one thing when they're actually angry about something else or giving me the silent treatment. Seriously, few things make me more angry and frustrated and <i>hurt</i> (when it is directed at me) than these.</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The main problem with them is that the thing you're <i>actually</i> angry about doesn't end up being resolved because you're going on about something completely different, or you're not talking about it at all! So it's pointless. It also confuses the person you're being angry at.</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I had a lot of this from my mother (I'm thinking of renaming this blog as something like "A Tribute to Freud"). Her favourite thing thing to shout about was my lack of music practice. If she'd had a bad day, if she was tired and grumpy, if she needed a cigarette... You guessed it. She'd take it out on <i>me</i>, about the fact that I hadn't touched one of my instruments in a month and the other one in a lot longer.<br />
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She also had this habit of just not speaking to me. She'd go through all the motions (driving me to school etc), but she wouldn't talk to me or look at me. She'd just have this sour look on her face the whole time I was around. It was fucking awful to go through, and she could maintain it for over a week if she wanted to. </div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">It may have been a control thing, and that she knew she could make me do what she wanted to by either verbally beating me down in to submission. She could control me, even if she couldn't control whatever else she was feeling or whatever else was actually going on. It ultimately doesn't matter, because the end result was the same: I got confused and angry at her, I did what I was told to avoid having to go through the same thing again. The sad part is that I started to hate playing music because I always played it in anger, all because she wasn't able to talk openly about what was actually going on in her head.</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">So the next time you're angry about something, take a step back and think about what is really making you angry, and be angry about that. Not about your partner having left the towel on the floor or the plate on the table, or whatever. Figure out what is really bugging you before you get into a fight over something that is relatively inconsequential and not at all related.<br />
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Ask yourself: Is it really worth damaging the relationship for?</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">And please, don't ever do this to me because I'll probably cry.</div>Quincy Quincettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05958720030354418138noreply@blogger.com1