Waaav, twoo waaav, that dweam wivin a dweam...

Continued from my previous post, on what can make or break a good wedding:

Oh, is that what that word meant!


DO have someone with very dirty mind proof-read any hymns or songs that are used at your wedding. Singing “Lord, have your way with us” or “Lord take me, take me now” is the kind of thing that will have at least some of your guests in fits of laughter and wondering whether you actually put any thought into this, or whether you picked elements while blind-folded and threw them together randomly. Or they might be wondering what you were smoking when you came up with it.

DON’T be lazy when choosing readings. Most people have that reading from Corinthians at their weddings, and when you’ve been to as many as I have, it gets a bit old and tired. If this is the one you really really really want, then that’s fine. But don’t choose it just because it’s what you think you’re supposed to have at a wedding. It isn’t, and there are plenty of other options not only in the bible, but also from Shakespeare and Byron a plethora of other sources.

DO have someone proof-read and check your programme. Misspelling names and writing that Pachelbel’s Canon was written by Mozart will get you odd looks from those of us who know, and spelling your mother-in-law’s sister’s name with a silent “Q” won’t earn you any points with your partner’s immediate family. If you’re not sure, ask. No one will begrudge you asking, but they will think less of you if you don’t ask and get it wrong.

He said WHAT???

DO set guidelines for things that are and are not allowed to go into speeches. Having the guy giving a speech start with “Now, you know I love you and respect your profession, BUT” and carry on from there is usually a bad thing, and if you had no idea what was coming then you have no one but yourself to blame. It's fair enough to pull faces at him to make it clar that you disagree with what he's saying and disapprove of him saying it in front of a whole crowd of people, but again: You probably should have talked to him about what he had in mind before the party began.

DO have someone with a sense of pitch help you pick your musicians. Seriously. Those of us who have had musical training, even if we do not have perfect pitch, will not be able to help cringing at every foul note. Have some pity, show some mercy, and don’t go with your cousin’s best friend’s brother’s band just because they’re free and really want exposure.

No! Of course your butt doesn’t look big in that!

DO consider the different colouring, shape and size of each of your bridesmaids. What you think is gorgeous may look dreadful when it’s actually on the person you have in mind. It may look nice on one of your bridesmaids but, again, it may not look good on the others. And remember: it is OK to have each of your bridesmaids wearing a different colour and style. It can work very well. I was bridesmaid at a wedding where the dresses were blue, pink and purple. The colours did not clash, and the rest of the wedding was decorated to suit. It was beautiful.

DON’T have the bucks’ and hens’ nights the night before the wedding. This is a Bad Idea. On a day like that, you want people to be in good shape: No hangovers, no effects of sleep deprivation after a night of LaserForce, and the bruises from Paintball fading.


In general, when it comes to weddings, the key thing is to be considerate of others. Yes, this is traditionally thought of as Your Big Day, but it doesn’t mean you should put blinders on to everything else that’s going on around you any more than you would on a normal day. After all, you invited these people, so you do have some obligation toward them. Your guests are there for you, they won’t criticise you or complain to you and they will always dislike something that you do, but you can still take measures to make the event more comfortable for them, while still getting the things you consider most important.

That’s what society is really about, isn’t it?