Friday, October 1, 2010

Quincy's How-To: When you change your mind about a date

So, a guy asks you out but, like the title says, after agreeing to it you realise that you'd rather listen to your mother's honest opinions on all your ex-boyfriends since you were 12.

You have multiple options, but there are also problems associated with them:

- Telling him you changed your mind trips your guilt switch.
- Standing him up makes you a Major Bitch, with Honours.
- Going along will mean that you get nothing but a meal in exchange for company you don't want. 

It doesn't have to!

Major Bitch, reporting for duty!

Step 1: Pick a decent, cheap restaurant which serves massive portions and lets you take your leftovers home.

Remember to act as though you don't know much about the restaurant in question, only that you've heard it's a good place to go eat. The guy will agree because it's a decent feed and he'll definitely be able to afford to pay for the meal, should it come to that.

Step 2. Choose your favourite pasta and sauce, and order the large helping.

Your date will probably try to tell you that the portions are massive, but act like you've only ever been to those expensive restaurants where you pay $150 for a sprig of lettuce and 100g of canned tuna.

 Step 3. Start your engines!


4. Eat only as much as you normally would in one sitting. Then ask to take the rest home.

Step 5: Get your date to pay for the meal.

 If you are successful, your date will not be pleased with the fact that you didn't take his advice, that you ordered more than you can eat, and that you then took home the leftovers he paid for to enjoy for several more days. Hopefully, this will mean he won't want to take you out again (achieving your objective of not starting a relationship) and that you can eat free of charge for the next several days!

Dud Date has successfully become a Success!

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