Friday, August 20, 2010

Sound effects

People are noisy beings. They’re always making noise - shifting, clicking, rustling..

I don’t like people noises. This is ensured partly by my lack of filter - if someone near me is making a sound and there isn’t another, much louder sound to drown them out, I can’t block it out.

I do try to be polite and not mention it - I really do. But, like anyone, there is only so much gnashing, chewing, popping, rustling that I can take.

You see, people will gulp and and gnaw and swallow and smack, oblivious to the fact that I am taking it all in, indiscriminately. They don’t know because I don’t usually say anything, and they can’t know because they don’t seem to hear it the way I do.

This makes having dinner with people really awkward for me because I know I can’t say anything, because they’re just eating, but all I hear is a series of crunches and scrapes and taps and swallows and more chewing....

Eating in front of the TV isn’t bad because there’s background noise to help drown it out, but if macadamia nuts are in question then it’s just scraping and scraping and crunching REALLY LOUDLY and then more crunching!

In a silent room with someone who’s ingesting is the absolute pits for me, because their chewing and swallowing are REALLY REALLY LOUD compared to the silence everywhere else, and if they’re playing with their hair or biting their nails or, god forbid, ACTUALLY BREATHING it makes me want to throw something at them.

And if they have a cold or hayfever and, then you have them not only twisting and scraping hairs against one another AND swallowing AND BREATHING AND CHEWING AND SNIFFING AND OH MY GOD WILL SOMEONE HAND ME THE FRIGGIN’ FLAME THROWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


We are experiencing technical difficulties. The normal program will resume on August 23rd.

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