Wednesday, September 8, 2010

It's kind of like needing glasses to find your glasses...

ADHD poses some interesting “challenges”. One of these is the forgetfulness that was mentioned earlier. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if what I’m about to write was what I intended to write in that earlier entry, though I still don’t actually remember and this could well be a new idea for an entry, while the previous one was meant to be about something else after all.
To help with the forgetfulness (caused by being distracted mid-action or -thought), I take medication. It helps me hold on to thoughts and to remember to do things.
Unfortunately, if I haven’t taken my medication, I sometimes forget to take my medication. It usually isn’t until I’m melting down and wondering why the world is so overwhelming and why I’m not able to cope with anything that I realise it’s because my tablet is still sitting happily in its blister pack, laughing manically at the extension to its useless, undissolved life.
Having the timing of taking medication as part of a routine can help with actually taking it, but if your routine changes that also stuffs things up. My routine changes almost daily, because my timetable varies. I can try to take it at the same time each day, but the change in routine still distracts me enough to have me completely forget that I was meant to take the stuff which is supposed to stop me forgetting things.
Memory problems are the worst ones to have when in charge of your own treatment. Seriously. It’s like trying to find a torch in the dark - you need light to be able to find it, and you need to find it to turn it on to get the light. Logic fails at this point and you enter an infinite loop of forgetting to take your meds because you’ve forgotten to take your meds because you’ve forgotten to take your meds.
And then the person whom you’ve asked to help you out in situations like this notices blank stare on your face as you struggle with the mysteries of the universe rather than finishing the piece of work that’s due in an hour, taps you on the shoulder and asks you if you’ve taken your meds and, realising you haven’t when you tell them you can’t remember, sends you off to do so. Hopefully, you won't be distracted by shiny reflections on your way to the tap to get a glass of water and forget again. This is why I keep a drink bottle at my desk. And why one of the people who sits near me knows that I need to take my medication.
I love people. They help out and are awesome. And helpful and nice.
Did I also mention that having unmedicated ADHD leads to “looping”, where the same thought goes on in your head over and over and over and over again, kind of like OCD? 

I think I’ll go take my meds now.

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